It’s been nearly a year since President Joe Biden finally decided to acknowledge his seventh grandchild, Navy Joan Roberts, with the enthusiasm of someone forced to apologize after stepping on a cat.
And now, after years of cringe-worthy silence, we finally get “the story everyone’s been asking for.” At least, that’s how Navy Joan’s mom, Lunden Roberts, pitches it in her new memoir, Out of the Shadows: My Life Inside the Wild World of Hunter Biden. If you’re in the market for the most reliable account of this trainwreck, look no further. Unlike the usual suspects—lying journalists and crack-addled political royalty—Roberts is just a former high-school basketball star from Arkansas who made the mistake of dating the wrong guy and somehow survived it. She’s not here to polish Hunter’s tarnished halo; she’s here to rip it off and beat him with it.
Roberts knows a thing or two about smear campaigns, having been the target of one so vicious it nearly pushed her to suicide. And guess who was pulling the strings, at least partially? None other than the president himself—a man who can’t go five minutes without patting himself on the back for being Mr. Family Values. Roberts doesn’t outright roast Navy Joan’s grandpa in her book, but she didn’t exactly hold back when her PR team scheduled the release to coincide with the Democratic National Convention. With Biden now sidelined, the media have chosen to ignore this story indefinitely.
If you think you’ve heard the real story from the media’s tales of strippers and one-night stands, think again. That includes Hunter Biden’s bestselling work of fiction, Beautiful Things (2021), where he can’t even be bothered to name Roberts, dismissing her as just “the woman from Arkansas who had a baby in 2018.” He claims he has no memory of their “encounter,” which he paints as a random hook-up during his post-divorce “rampages.”
But Roberts’s version, which isn’t brought to you by the producers of Breaking Bad, is a lot more believable. Hunter’s tale of a single, forgettable fling is not only laughable but also legally questionable—defamation lawsuit, anyone? And let’s not forget all those Democratic cheerleaders who insisted Joe Biden was mentally sharp while his son was out there selling the family name like it was the latest hot stock tip.
Roberts lays out their months-long “relationship”—yes, relationship—where she was on Hunter’s payroll and health insurance, not to mention their drug-fueled escapades. These included cozy get-togethers with Hallie Biden, Hunter’s brother’s widow, in the 11,000-square-foot Virginia mansion Joe and Jill were renting “from a friend of the Obamas.” You know, just your typical all-American family bonding.
Self-reflection? Not exactly Roberts’s strong suit. At times, it seems like she’s still lost in the haze of addiction, unable to resist Hunter’s so-called charm, desperately trying to play the role of savior to his broken soul. Her next boyfriend wasn’t much of an upgrade either—an MMA fighter and raging alcoholic who thought breaking into her house to hurl insults was the height of romance. It’s like she wrote an entire book about codependency without once thinking to Google “codependency.”
But let’s be real: Roberts and Navy Joan are the only actual victims here. Hunter? He’s just another villain in this Shakespearean tragedy. The real crown belongs to Joe Biden. He decided to run for president while his son was struggling and then criticized reporters for asking about the granddaughter he had not acknowledged. Joe Biden, the “family man” who still hasn’t spoken to Navy Joan.
At the time, Biden’s behavior was appalling; now that Roberts has shared her side of the story, it’s downright disgraceful. The book even includes one of the most ridiculous conception stories you’ll ever hear. Picture this: It’s December 2017, and Hunter Biden is busy with some “meetings” in New York City, but not before making a pit stop at his favorite strip joint. They board a train, miss their stop, and Hunter demands the train halt because “I’m on the board of Amtrak!” Guess what? It doesn’t.
When they reach their luxury penthouse, Hunter has lost his phone, wallet, and Beau Biden’s dog tags. He returns later after some more “meetings” with two “friends,” including a potential oligarch’s daughter. After a little fun, it’s off to the next adventure.
A few weeks later, Lunden took a pregnancy test, and the rest is history—just like the media’s interest in holding Joe Biden accountable for anything. After all, this is the “noble” family man who loves all his grandchildren—well, except the one named Navy Joan.
